Journal
This site is a work in progress
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22/04/2024
Here it is. The first post. After another 2 months of not getting myself to update this site I'm back and continue working on this undertaking. How about we establish a baseline first. As you have probably read in the aboutme section there are a lot of problems and insecurities that I want to tackle. Even though I already wrote about how depressing it feels to keep reinventing yourself, in the sense of making countless plans to improve your live, and feeling that only rarely something meaningful comes out, I will continue working with plans. I think for today’s piece of writing I will start by working on a system for my goals. One of my goals will be to put much more effort into my university’s lectures. I performed terrible last semester and I feel like, since my future and especially many of my goals are deeply connected with academic success (or at least a degree) I will try to put my blood sweat in tears into this one. 1. Finish the semester with good grades, keep a healthy routine, healthy sleeping schedule and prepare for the lectures Especially the last point a >healthy sleeping schedule< will be a huge problem for me as I often struggle with falling asleep after laying around for hours. My second goal is to develop a japanese learning routine again. While I lived in Japan I knew my way around and my speaking skill has really improved but I still feel like I’m miles away from having a normal off-the-rails conversation. Considering that theoretically I could do a semester abroad in Japan I really want to get back into Japaanese. From what I’ve heard University japanese is tough so definitely will have to work on my skill. Even though I’ve been studying for so long I have never taken a JLPT test. In Germany you can do the JLPT every year on two dates in either Hamburg or Duesseldorf. They offer it in Hamburg because Hamburg’s University is well-known for it’s Japanology studies and Duesseldorf because it has a high japanese population. Unfortunately It’s hard to register since they are usually fully booked out in a couple of days. Registration for the one in December open in July 2024 so I will watch the date as it approaches. I guess I will make passing my first JLPT in December one of my goals. 2. Get back into learning Japanese, do your Anki everyday, immerse yourself in the language and take the JLPT this winter The last goal will be to work on my physical health. I already mentioned that I have low self-esteem and that I struggle talking to women. I think when I feel more confident in my own body I will have more courage to shoot my shot one day and wont have to hide as much in the confines of my apartments in front of my computer. I have a gym membership but I don’t feel confident enough to go there during rush-hours. In the past I had a habit of waking up early and going there before uni when no one was there and I could train judgement-gaze free. If I manage to get my sleeping schedule under control I’d love to have such a habit again. Obviously I will also try to look into eating more healthy and stay in a constant calorie-deficit 3. Go to the gym, eath healthy I think that's it for now.